Oops! I’m A Virgin – Does This Mean A Vow Of Living A Socially Drab Life?

Yep!! You read right……there is a virgin in the corner. I’m not psychic but I can almost see the many disbelieving head shakes of people who believe no one over the age of twenty can possibly be a virgin. But an extraordinary encounter with a fourth year undergraduate student said otherwise …..there are a few good virgins out there and it’s not a fib.  

 

Everyone loves a great story….the trials, the triumphs and all that happened in between. For the virgin, the story is a little bit different; it is a combination of some triumph laced with a trailer load of trials. Triumph in staying true to personal convictions but trials in being a card carrying member of a dying virtue.

A declaration of one’s virginity is met with barely repressed mirth, a ton of disbelief and summary dismissal of the virtues of staying pure until the ‘D’ day. Like many of the other values once held dear such as honesty, integrity and strong spirituality, virginity has been assigned scrap value and is no longer celebrated. In a world filled with fast forwards in trends and lifestyle, there is little appreciation for the virgins amongst us.

Nowadays, a vow of virginity seems to be akin to a vow of living a socially drab life. They are seen as people who have opted to live the snail paced lifestyle of the Middle Ages and few have patience for them. They may be courted, kissed or made out with but once they mention the dreaded vow of abstinence, the other party runs out the door.  And this is for all who have professed abstinence – male or female.  

A recent humour filled debate amongst friends over this issue threw up many perspectives: some believe the virgins must have suffered psychological trauma which forces them to hold on to their virginity as a form of retaining control of their lives; or the virgins are people who have body image issues; there are those who feel that virgins are people with very low self esteem who hold on to a virginity they believe is their only worthy quality; some think they are prisoners of a morality fearfully drummed by religion into them; and some just feel that the virgins are those with no ‘action’ at all.  

But for the virgins, it seems to be a case of struggling to retain personal values in an increasingly sexually liberated society. In the midst of a sea of people who want instant gratification, the voice of the few who believe that delays make for a sweeter experience is like the lone voice in the wilderness – not many are paying attention…or even want to. It seems it also makes it almost impossible to have, and keep, a romantic relationship because it usually ends almost faster than it began. From all accounts, it appears that climbing the Mount Kilimanjaro may be easier than having an asexual romantic relationship in these times………because no one wanted to hang out for long with someone who’s not ‘doing’ it.

So, with the constant deaths of budding relationshipsand a deluge of crushed hopes of having an emotionally fulfilling asexual relationship, the will to keep trying to find the perfect balance is gradually eroded in this extraordinary group of people. No one wanted to hear the virginity story and the virgins were getting tired of telling it to people who didn’t care. Still, their hearts wanted a romantic relationship so they were stuck in a quagmire – to be or not to be?

What do you think?

Kaemesia

 

ChiomaObiefuna
obiefunachioma@ymail.com

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