Relationship Dilemma: I Can’t seem To be Alone, What Can I Do?

Are you someone who moves from one unhappy relationship to another? Most likely that’s because you got into the relationship for the wrong reasons. Relationships and marriage are admirable goals for anyone to strive towards but there are many reasons why people may decide to engage in relationships for all the wrong reasons. Relationships should bloom from a mutual love and respect between two people and should not be influenced by outside parties, peer pressure or to fill a void in your life.  Before you jump into another relationship, look at these red flags that might help you avoid unhealthy relationships in the future.

Convenience

Many times people get into relationships just because they find it convenient.  Maybe you found a man who always elects himself to drive you and your friends around from bar to bar at night.  Or maybe he has an awesome house and a beautiful pool that you and your friends can chill at whenever you want.  It’s great to find a patient and loving man, but if you tend to use him for his “things” or bank account, don’t be shocked if he catches on to your game and leaves you up a creek, with no ride home.

Ageism

Society has conditioned us to believe that once we are over 30, we are past our prime and therefore we have passed our expiration date to be wanted and loved by another person.  Often women feel panic and anxiety set in during this time. Relationships created for the sake of society, or to appease your family, or because of desperation absolutely do not stand the test of time and shouldn’t be entertained in the first place.

Rebound

It is a very common thing to get into relationships to avoid or forget problems. Victims of bad parenting or a history of abuse are often seen getting into such relationships as a means of escape. Many people often jump from relationship to relationship by embarking on a “rebound” before they give themselves time to heal from the hurt, pain, or loneliness from their previous relationship. Such bonds may bring passion, purpose and excitement in the short term, but fail to survive, as they are not based on love.

Boredom

This is probably the most dangerous reason why you would want to be in a relationship. There are so many things to do in life to make it more interesting and if you decide to choose a relationship in order to pass the time you will not end up with a life full of happiness. Relationships are about the giving of yourself and the other person giving to you. It is not a hobby to relieve boredom.  Don’t go find a boyfriend just so you have someone to take road trips with and eat lunch with at the park.  

Influenced by Others

The approval of family and friends is reflected in the way we take their advice. In order not to look like the odd one out, we may listen to their suggestions and date someone that we had no intention of dating.  Long lasting and happy relationships start with a solid foundation. The foundation should be the reason that you have decided to embark on a relationship in the first place.

Need of Physical Intimacy

For many people the motivation for relationship is sex or physical intimacy with a repeating partner. Desperation for sex can many times result in jumping into the sack with the wrong people and failing to connect on any level other than the bedroom.  Yes, physical attraction and intimacy is important in a relationship, but it should not be the basis for a relationship.  

Wants a Challenge

Many times people try to win over others because they are unavailable and are intrigued by a challenge. Winning over a man could be considered a triumph to you and a prize you won’t stop fighting for until you get it. Not to say that a little bit of a challenge isn’t fun and exciting, but be sure you are fighting for an available and good guy.

Culled from Madamnoire.com

 


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