A friend of mine, Yvonne, gets irritated when women cry over men. Apparently, it is a sure sign of weakness. If you have ever shed a tear in connection with matters of the heart, you may have reached the point where you got up, took one look at yourself in the mirror, and decided you were pathetic! It happens! I mean there is the war in Iraq, the Tsunami disaster, armed robbery and unprovoked assassinations in Nigeria and horrible diseases like fatal cancer. And there you are shedding unnecessary tears because someone broke your heart.
From that angle, I suppose Yvonne has a point, except….Well there is the pain stemming from the loss of a loved one, and these days, watching the 7 o’clock news, but if we were honest, we would admit that matters of the heart could stir up some pretty big emotions in us.
For the more serious problems, what evokes emotion is the helplessness of the situation, the injustice in the world, the inhumanity, the violence, the loss. It is not unusual to stare at the TV and be so taken aback by the situation that you get emotionally involved. Eventually, you will get up and go have dinner. You will have a shower, go out to work and whatever else is normal. When its heartbreak, it is more personal. The thing is when you give love, you give it so selflessly and effortlessly. Your giving comes almost as naturally as breathing. When the very thing that you attach so much importance to comes back and metaphorically speaking, bites you in the bum, it belittles everything that you have held with such esteem. It messes around with your sense of importance; it throws back at you your heart. There is the emotion accompanied by betrayal, anger, hurt…it becomes a personal attack on you. It is not something that happened to a group of people, it is something that singled you out and hit you. The pain stemming from heartbreak is so potent, its almost tangible.
So yes, in comparison to more important reasons to cry, it may seem silly; but in the grand scheme of things, it is such a gut wrenching experience that can make you feel almost physically sick. In terms of remedy, there is and always will be ice cream, binge drinking, and renouncing the sunlight by leaving your curtains undrawn for days. The pain will go away…one day, but its pain that not anyone who has ever experienced will ever forget. I like to believe that heartbreak happens to prevent something even worse from happening in future and we should believe that somewhere, somehow, there is a plan. Is this soothing enough? Probably not, but it is the best I can do for now.
Until next time, let’s dig deep!