#OBRelationships! “I Found Out He Was Engaged On Bella Naija.” – Chronicles Of A Side Chick


We always tell ourselves that we can never be the other woman, but we find ourselves being a side chic to at least one guy, even without knowing.

We hear about “The Side Chic” every now and then, we see them on media blogs, on newspaper headlines even on TV. Some ladies have no problem in playing woman #2, while some other ladies see it as their heart has been torn apart when they find out that their man is seeing another woman.

I met Chris at AY LIVE last year April, and the moment I saw him, I knew he was the one for me. Yeah! Isn’t that what we always say? Anyways, Fast forward to two months later, Chris and I were kicking it everyday, In the bathroom, on the kitchen counter, in the bedroom, even at the balcony with his dog watching. Most nights he had me in handcuffs with his special vibrator. I ask myself “Which guys has a vibrator”? but then I didn’t care because he made me feel good every time. He was my Christian Grey, but the Nigerian version with the most fantastic body ever.

I packed my things into his house and settled in like the Girlfriend I was (In my head). Everyday after work, I looked forward to rushing home to be with my Mr Grey because I knew what the night had ready for me. He would come back in his pilot uniform, Oh yes,  Chris is a Captain for a Nigerian Airline, and to be honest that was one of the reasons I wanted to be with him. Good job, Catholic, Comes from a Good home, and he is not on any social media. How is that for a perfect guy.

I have been dating Chris for 6months now and I think my life is perfect. My dreams were gradually coming through. I am 27 and I told myself that I must find a boyfriend and get married this year. Looking at Chris sleeping beautifully, shirtless and handsome, I was like “Thank you Jesus, What more can I ask for.”

Welcome to the new year, It’s 2018! Chris and I went for mid-night mass together, I introduced him to my friends, and we all went out that morning for drinks. There was something Charity my best friend said to me that I couldn’t get off my head the whole day. I had never met any of Chris’s friends, I don’t even know if he has friends because he doesn’t talk about any body even his colleagues. So, I decided I was going to bring it up after dinner. We made dinner as usual together, playing while at it and stealing kisses from each other. My goodness we were so cute. After dinner, we went to the bedroom for some desert (I don’t mean food) but I wasn’t in the mood because I had so much on my mind that needed clarification.

“Babe, why don’t you have any friends, I mean…you never talk about anybody, your colleagues, your ex, your love life, nothing.” Touching his cold arms “Or are you hiding something from me, Is there something I should know.” I said in a low tone. That moment I realised I had messed up, It’s like I committed an abomination by asking those questions. His face turned cold all of a sudden and he got out of bed and slammed the door. I was shocked and confused.

Chris started giving me the cold shoulder and I couldn’t bear it anymore. The height was when he told me his sister was coming over to his house and he needed some alone time alone with her, meaning I should get out of his house. Fam, I was shook. Then I knew something was not right, so I decided to give him his space. Chris and I didn’t speak for a whole month and I didn’t call him because I thought I didn’t do anything wrong, and he should be the one calling to apologise. I cried my eyes out most nights and asked myself what I did wrong. I spoke to Charity about this and she told me to forget the guy, because guys like Chris are always up to no good. I mean no one knows anything about his social life. He doesn’t go out, He is not on Instagram or Twitter Or Facebook like any normal guy. He has no photo of any girl on his phone. Was I dating a serial killer?

March is here and it’s been two months now, I haven’t heard anything from Chris. I go about my usual routine of social media stalking and all, and the first thing I see on Bella Naija Weddings is a photo of Chris in a black suit with the caption “Groom looking dapper in suit by Bla Bla Bla….” I was like… Nope, maybe it’s one of those fashion inspiration posts and stuff. Then I go to the designer’s page and to my surprise I see “Congratulations to the latest groom in town Chris, Looking super dapper in our (whatever the hell that was called) suit. I dropped my phone and started laughing. I told myself that I wasn’t convinced until I saw a photo of him and his wife. Where was I going to start from, no friends to check their instagram, no instagram handle, no social media. Hmm. So I searched his surname and the hashtag came out #Osibor (Not his real surname) and I saw before my eyes, my worst nightmare. CHRIS AND HIS WIFE!

I was looking for the tears to roll down my cheeks, but nothing. I was just lost in that post of him and his wife kissing so deeply and they looked so in love. I scroll down and I see their engagement photo, He proposed to her in Canada two months before he met me. Wow! I couldn’t believe my eyes, I was played like “LUDO”.  I was a SIDE CHIC for real. “Is this me?” was the question I kept on asking myself throughout the day.


Have you ever been a side chic before, or do you know anyone who has been the other woman in a relationship, or has been cheated on in her relationship? Share with us and Follow the Hashtag #OBRelationships on Instagram for more relationship stories and Life lessons.





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One comment

  1. This is so beautifully written; I can feel every emotion portrayed in this. Unfortunately this is a sad reality that the world has come to. In this day and age you can no longer trust what a man may say to you. Even the family is in on it sometimes; he could bring you to meet his family, his mom would even something like “my daughter welcome oo, hmm you know my son loves you” “please don’t hurt him”; meanwhile you are probably woman number 8. We need to start paying attention to red flags and actually follow our gut instincts, we also know better but we make up excuses in our heads to justify. Even when God does not say that is not your husband we still try to convince ourselves; Hence we end up hurt broken and in church asking God why. It is not everyone that goes to church that is a practising Christian, we need to differentiate that in order for us to make better decision when looking for Christian husbands. He needs to be GOD FEARING and not church going. He needs to be able to pray with you, support, respect, love you above himself but NEVER above GOD. That is how you can make a distinction between a GOD FEARING man and a Christian church goer.

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